The Child

Connecting with - filling their emotional fuel tank

It is easy to think that any and all time spent with our children counts as together time.  We are physically with them after all. However, we can be in the same space as our children and not actually be with them.  Our mind could be wandering miles away, our backs turned, or be totally engaged in our own activity and totally unaware of theirs.  This is reality of course, and fine, and understandable, but we have to see this time for what it is. And not mistake it for real together time, the ‘tank filling’ sort.

Connection - it takes time

The relationship we have with our child depends on the connection we have. Consciously choosing more times of connection means we make this a priority in our lives.  We may need to put guidelines in place for ourselves – turning off cellphones at specific times, changing the time of day we prep dinner, making important phone calls only after some invested presence.

What’s next - who is ready, you or they?

Our children have their own timetable for development. If we trust their inbuilt timing, we can resist the urge to ‘teach’, intervene, coax and prompt. We can instead put our energies into observing, noticing, appreciating and celebrating. Our focus moves to looking at what our child CAN do instead of what they can’t (yet).