The relationship we have with our child depends on the connection we have. Consciously choosing more times of connection means we make this a priority in our lives. We may need to put guidelines in place for ourselves – turning off cellphones at specific times, changing the time of day we prep dinner, making important phone calls only after some invested presence.
How often do you hear children being asked to use their words? It can be a problematic request as high emotions and limited vocab make this a real challenge for children. Perhaps we are better to look at taking our own advice, and look at how using our words could help us in our parenting journey.
“Use your words”. How often do we hear that being told to children? Very young children especially? It has become almost a mindless phrase that gets thrown out, with the expectation that our wee ones know what it means, can grasp what is asked of them, and run with it.
As we get older, the whole notion of wishes often gets put in the ‘hog wash’ pile. We sort desires into the can, and can't possibly happen, categories, and talk more about facing reality. “You wish”, becomes a scoffing term when someone touts dreams we deem unlikely.
We are parents and… Parenting is a beautiful role we carry out but it is not all we are.
We have to be parents and... The 'and' is what keeps us balanced and whole. It is what keeps us from obsessing too strongly about what we are or aren't doing for our children.
As teachers we are often asked by our wonderful parents what they can do to help their children develop and learn, or 'prepare for school'. Our advice? The very best thing you can do for your children is offer them love and offer them life.
As teachers parents have asked us ‘why heart centred, aren’t all centres heart centred?’
It can be hard to put into words exactly what ‘heart centred’ can offer a child, but when we see each and every ‘graduating’ child we know that this is what we’d love to show these querying parents.
If there is one word to guide us on our heart centred parenting journey, it is WITH.
This one short word conveys a powerful message about the fact that parenting is relationship based. We exist as parents because of our children and we take this journey together.
Parenting is not easy, but nor does it have to be as hard as we often make it.
Many of the things we end up struggling with are not the result of our experiences or our child's behaviour. It is our thoughts and perceptions that create the real tension. Our mindset sets the tone.
Our children love to hear “yes”, and the truth is it can be just as enjoyable for us to say it. There are so many times in a day we say no (whether aloud or not), but if we paused before responding, maybe we'd say yes more often.